There's a Hell in All of Us
by nimthriel
Summary: Cas can't have Dean, so he takes the next best thing.
1. Sam

**AN: So, this was supposed to be a one-shot that I knocked out so I could stop trying to pair Sam and Cas in my All's Fair sequel. It turned into this. I just don't understand why I can't let them be happy. Also, Sam's kind of a dick in this story. Just pretend it takes place when he had no soul or something. Sorry "Sam Girls" I kinda destroyed your man in this. Oh well, artistic liberties and all that.**

**1. Sam**

If _**he **_ever caught them like this, it would be the last thing Sam ever did.

Not that Sam was complaining. It would be worth it, but he'd just like to live long enough to do it again.

What is _**it**_, you ask?

Well, Sam could tell you that he definitely didn't have Cas' hands pinned above their heads in a single strong grip, as his other hand pressed hard to Cas' ribs, moving ever lower with the rocking of his hips.

He could tell you that he was a good brother that respected celestial beings belonging to his older sibling, or that he was too moral to have his cock shoved so far up Cas' ass that his jutting hip bones left marks on the inside of the angel's thighs.

He _**could**_ tell you that, but he'd be lying on both counts, and Sam was nothing if not honest.

As it was, Cas seemed to be enjoying himself, and Dean _**had**_ mentioned something about making the angel comfortable. Sam was fairly confident that this was well outside of the parameters of Dean's intended command, but hey, at least Sam was diligent in making sure Cas was well taken care of.

As mentioned before, Cas really seemed to be enjoying himself.

His legs wound around Sam's back without any coaxing or direction. They were an awkward fit, Cas' shorter limbs not being able to compete with Sam's greater range of motion. There were three things that worked really well for them, though.

Missionary, Cowgirl (or boy, depending on how literal you want to be), and doggie (provided Sam didn't mind spreading his legs a bit wider to get down to Cas' level) and Jesus fuck, it was good.

In fact, they worked almost too well. There were times when Sam switched their positions just so he didn't bust too early and spoil it.

He knew Cas was a virgin, and part of him felt like he should feel like shit for snatching this opportunity from under Dean's nose, but Cas was more than willing, and Sam wasn't about to complain. Seriously, who passed on the chance to deflower an Angel of the Lord (or…whatever)? Plus, it had been a while for him, and the way he saw it, Cas could probably use a little loosening up (in more ways than one) if he was planning on jumping in the sack with Dean.

Also, Sam had a thing about sloppy seconds. Especially his brother's.

Pushing the thoughts of Dean from his mind, he smacked his hand down on Cas' thigh and pulled away, flopping down onto his back before yanking Cas' body over his own.

The angel was compliant as he settled over Sam's lap, working his hips back and forth under Sam's encouraging hands. The cleft of Cas' ass slid over Sam's slick shaft, and Sam gripped the base of it, raising it up and guiding Cas down onto it. The angel threw back his beautiful head, and Sam pretended not to hear his brother's name on his lips.

Thrusting upwards, Sam saw stars; Cas' body was so perfect. He had hips that didn't fucking lie (whatever the Hell that meant), lips sweet as sin, and an ass tighter than any wrecked pussy Sam's ever had.

Cas' hips rotated above him, and Sam couldn't stop the involuntary squeeze of his hands on Cas' thighs. His blunt nails dug into the pale skin, leaving crescent shaped bruises that would definitely be there tomorrow.

'_Good_,' Sam thought, '_let Dean see_.' He wasn't really sure why it felt so good to be able to hold this over Dean's head, but it afforded him some power over his brother that he'd never had, and that thought was definitely appealing.

Sam knew for a fact Dean had never experienced Cas like this.

He was too afraid.

If only Dean could see his angel now.

**AN: So, I have a Supernatural calendar in my room and Dean is the picture for February. He has this exasperated glare on his face and I feel like he's judging me for writing this and for putting him and Cas through so much shit when I pair them together. Then I lift the page to March and it's Sam with this huge smile on his face. It makes me feel justified in my actions. Thanks Sam.**


	2. Castiel

**AN: I hope you guys are enjoying this. It was really fun to write actually. I love writing from Cas' perspective because I feel that he's so much more complex than the boys and I love exploring every facet of his mind (or what I imagine his mind to be like) I may make him a bit melodramatic from time to time, but this guy is an absolute mess when it comes to Dean, so I think it's appropriate. Enjoy :)**

**2. Castiel**

**There were better ways to handle disappointment, Cas knew, but that didn't stop him from agreeing when Sam suggested they should fuck.**

And to be honest, Cas was a bit more than curious on the mechanics of sexual intercourse between two males. Cinemax didn't really provide any literature on the subject, so Cas was left to guesswork, and he really didn't like that.

He remained pliant, but unresponsive when Sam's lips pressed against his for the first time, feeling (not for the first time) like he'd already made a grievous mistake, but Sam smelled good, he was warm, and Cas was lonely.

But he wanted Dean and pretending otherwise was futile. He would always want Dean.

Even as Sam began removing his clothing, and he reached down to grab Cas' wrists, placing his hands on his abs, Cas wished it was Dean. As he squeezed Sam's hard pectoral muscles, he thought about how his hand had fit perfectly over Dean's shoulder, over the brand he had left on his skin, and how Sam's body, though well-defined and beautiful in its own right, was no comparison.

As Sam settled in between his legs, Cas closed his eyes, seeing Dean's smile and his green eyes looking back at him. The thought made him smile, and he supposed Sam took that as encouragement because he was summarily filled to the brim in one fell swoop.

Cas couldn't hold back his surprised shout of pain, and Sam looked up at him apologetically.

"Sorry, I forgot you hadn't done this before," which was a lie, and they both knew it. Cas settled back down as Sam moved and fell into his thoughts again.

He hoped that after this, he was still able to look Dean in the eyes. It would be a shame if Cas was never able to behold them again, for they were far more beautiful than any wonder Earth or Heaven had to offer, and Cas knew he'd be content to gaze into them for all eternity.

But, as they say, what is broken cannot always be repaired. Cas has never understood that phrase until now.

Cas knew it as soon as he looked up to see Dean's eyes staring at him from behind the gossamer curtains that Dean's faith in him had broken.

Dean's gaze was focused, intent on Cas' face, and in his shock, Cas was unable to grasp the reality of the situation. His hand flung back to grip at Sam's hip, intending to stop him, but then Dean's lips parted and his harsh breaths fogged the glass in front of him, and Cas knew.

He played along. He put his hand back down, gripping into the ruffles of the sheets as he pressed back into Sam once more. His tongue snaked out, licking the petals of his lips before pulling the bottom one in between his teeth.

If he couldn't have Dean, he'd take it like this; Sam behind him, and Dean watching.

It was erotic and yet, Cas felt like screaming. He felt like raging at Dean, just to ask why the Hell this wasn't him, but there, in Dean's expression, was his answer.

Dean didn't want him badly enough. Couldn't even come in and take him from his brother. Was just standing there, _**watching**_, as Sam claimed that which was truly and completely his.

"No!" Cas gasped out as Dean turned away, and Sam stopped moving, a strange cold settling through Cas' body as it was bereft of the friction.

"Cas?" Sam's voice was wrecked, whining almost, as his head fell to rest on Cas' back. Sam shifted his hips forward slightly, wanting to make sure Cas was okay, but also not one hundred percent willing to give up the feeling of Cas against him just yet.

"It's okay, Sam." It didn't take much more after that. Sam rocked into him, thrusting forward with renewed vigor. It was probably more forceful than Cas should have wanted, but he didn't so much mind the pain. It was a welcome distraction from the distance he felt growing between him and Dean.

A distance that he had widened infinitely after being caught fucking his brother.

Cas lowered his head and put it in his hands, patiently waiting Sam out. It felt good, he couldn't deny that, but it was just too obvious it wasn't Dean. The brothers weren't as much alike as everyone fancied them to be. Sure, they were both good at heart, loyal to a fault, and just about as stubborn as they were fierce. But knowing them like Cas did, like Bobby had, they were so different it was laughable.

Sam, always so sensitive and friendly, was like the flint to Dean's fire. Sam was what kept Dean going, until Cas came into the picture of course, but Cas wasn't too sure that he hadn't irreparably damaged himself in Dean's eyes now.

Dean, for as forgiving as he could be, was also rash and a bit unstable in his anger. Cas would have to approach this situation carefully. But then, Dean could also be incredibly tender and Cas was able to see that side of him more than once, but only for a few seconds before Dean realized what he was doing and pulled away. Because no matter what, Dean's fear of rejection would always surface. No matter how much Cas tried to tell him that he reciprocated his feelings. No matter how many times Cas looked passed his scars and perversions, to see Dean, to truly see him, Dean would always withdraw.

So Cas opened up to the next best thing, and that's what led him to this; naked on Dean's borrowed bed, an unwanted cock up his ass, and a tear in his eye.

**AN: One chapter left and then I promise, promise, promise I'll get started on the sequel. Maybe I should just have Libranfate write it for me. He's so much cooler than I am.**


	3. Dean

**AN: Okay, this is the last chapter in the Sam/Cas ficlet and I promise after this I WILL make a serious effort to begin writing more on the All's Fair sequel. I seriously just kept putting so much sexual tension between Sam and Cas that it would have ended up running away from me and we would have an angsty mess of Dean vs. Sam in the Battle for Cas on our hands and I don't think anyone really wants to see that. Knowing me, it wouldn't have ended well. For anyone. So, you're welcome.**

**As always, the most massive of thanks to Libranfate for beta-ing for me. I get all girly and shmoopy when I think about how awesome you are.**

**3. Dean**

He couldn't blame Cas for letting this happen.

It was his fault.

If he'd been more open with him, told him exactly what he wanted, given him something, _**anything **_to hold on to, this could have been prevented.

The thing was, Dean thought he had.

He thought showing Cas how willing he was to die for him, forgiving him where he wouldn't have given anyone else the same courtesy, setting him free to right his self-proclaimed wrongs should have proved to the angel just how much Dean truly did care.

He assumed what he had been able to express would have been enough for Cas. It should have been enough.

But as he watched his angel in bed with his little brother, he realized his assumptions were wrong.

Cas had this infuriating habit of holding things back from Dean, as if what Dean thought of him was more important than being open with him. It hurt to see that he didn't have the same reservations with Sam.

Dean couldn't fault him for it, though. He knew he was a piece of work and more than a little rough around the edges, but he had hoped, believed, that Cas could see past that. The angel meant more to him than he acknowledged even to himself, and seeing him with Sam, well, it was…confusing to say the least.

Dean should have been livid, and he was but the sad thing is, watching them was hot.

A totally fucked up kind of hot, but hot none-the-less.

Amidst the roiling sickness in his stomach at the thought of Cas with someone, _**anyone**_, that wasn't him, he felt an aching burn within him as his body began to respond to the expressions on Cas' face.

He couldn't help it. He'd imagined (and jerked off to) those exact faces more times than he was willing to admit and seeing them now, outside the confines of his fantasies, it was just so much better. It was evidenced by the fact that he couldn't open his pants fast enough to pull out his already rock hard member.

His shaking fingers fumbled with the top button on his pants, and he caught the material of his boxer briefs in the zipper. He impatiently tugged at the sides of his jeans, popping the zipper and shoving his hand inside. His eyes briefly closed as his hand _**finally **_closed over his the engorged flesh.

Not giving a second thought to the fact that he was in a very public parking lot, Dean pulled himself out and began stroking in earnest, bringing his eyes back up to Cas.

He was looking over his shoulder at Sam, and Dean's throaty groan came out as more of a possessive, guttural growl.

Finally, as if Dean had willed it, Cas turned his head, locked eyes with him, and Dean's grip on his shaft tightened. His other arm shot out to support himself, leaning all of his body weight onto the hand now clutching the metal window frame, his forehead pressing against the cool glass.

There was a split second of panic in Cas' eyes before he saw the pleasure in Dean's. Cas' mouth fell open, and the soft keening escaped the room, flowing into Dean's ears.

Thank God for poor insulation.

He kept his eyes glued to Cas as he panted out his release, giving himself only enough time to recover his breath before he pulled back away from the window.

Cas was close, he could tell, could see it in the way his hips were canting back to meet Sam thrust for thrust. It was in how his mouth fell open in a silent scream, but Dean couldn't stay to watch him come with Sam behind him. That was just too much for him to take. Just knowing that, as with most things in his life, Sam had achieved what he was too afraid to go after, made him sick.

First, it was the hunting. Sam had been able to get out of 'The Game' and pursue a normal life. Though it was short-lived, it was still more than Dean had ever managed.

He is able to form meaningful attachments with people. Another thing Dean's abrasive personality didn't allow. Not that he didn't have reason for his rough exterior. You'd be bitter if everyone died on you too.

But now, and in possibly the most stunning display of sibling rivalry ever, Sam had taken something from him that Dean knew he couldn't get back, no matter how badly he wanted it or how hard he worked to obtain it.

Sam had taken Cas. Taken from him the one thing in the world Dean had ever truly allowed himself to want.

Something like that just couldn't be forgiven.

Dean adjusted his pants and spared one last glance at Cas before turning his back on them.

He opened the door to the Impala and slid inside, revving the engine to life and pulling out of the motel parking lot.

He'd give them some time to get their shit straight before he came back, and if Sam knew what was good for him, he wouldn't be there.

If Dean knew anything about Cas, and he flattered himself in thinking he knew the angel pretty well, he could guess that he probably just ruined the night for Sam, and Sam wouldn't even know it. Oh yes, Cas would let Sam finish, but after that, Dean was pretty sure Cas would send his brother away, the angel never could bear Dean's disappointment.

He would also leave himself unsatisfied out of a need of penance for his faithlessness. As he should, Dean thought vehemently.

After seeing to the rearranging of Sam's face, Dean would see to his angel.

And he wouldn't be afraid.

**AN: Okay, so I hope this cured my need to have Sam and Cas together. Not really sure why it was so prevalent in my mind, I seriously don't even ship them. Maybe it's just a love of Misha surrounded by cocks. I'm not sure.**


End file.
